


Noodles.

by The_Magic_Rat



Series: I Think We’re Alone Now [6]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Magic_Rat/pseuds/The_Magic_Rat
Summary: Crowley's eggs hatch.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: I Think We’re Alone Now [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660048
Comments: 23
Kudos: 81





	Noodles.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SparklinBurgndy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklinBurgndy/gifts).



> For SparklinBurgndy.

_**Good Omens – Noodles.** _

_**Author: The Magic Rat  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: Crowley/Aziraphale  
Warnings: Snakes, dancing, silliness, offended archangels.  
Word Count: 2821** _

_**Website – Ex Libris: http://www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/index.html  
Live Journal: http://delaese.livejournal.com/profile** _

_**Disclaimer: All Good Omens characters, places and situations are the property of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Copyright for all stories and original characters is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.** _

_**Summary: Crowley's eggs hatch.** _

_**Author’s notes: For SparklinBurgndy.** _

~*~*~*~*~*~

Aziraphale opened the door to the stone cottage to permit the first guests to arrive. The cottage was quiet, and the only illumination was a candle being held in an antique silver holder by the angel. He smiled as Sebastian and Beatrice slipped inside. 

"This is so exciting!" Sebastian said as he hung up his coat. "I've never been invited to a hatching before!"

"Have the babies emerged yet?" asked Beatrice.

"No not yet," said Aziraphale. "The shells have not even begun to crack."

The trio paused as a sound came from the sitting room; a warbling trill that rose and fell, a song so incredibly pure and lovely that the angels could not help but attend to it, feeling their hearts stir at the beauty. Sebastian's eyes grew large, and it seemed as if the sound even carried its own scent, like rain on blossoms, and the music caused every night-blooming flower in the garden to cast a faint glow.

"What is that sound?" asked Beatrice, as Sebastian stood, mesmerized.

"It's Crowley," said Aziraphale, smiling. "He's singing to the eggs."

He had their immediate attention. "That's the demon?!" asked Sebastian, disbelief in his voice.

"Yes," said Aziraphale. "Lovely, isn't it? Oh - don't get too near. In the last few hours he's become a bit bitey."

The song finished. Sebastian was still overwhelmed.

"That was the demon..." he said, not ready to believe.

"His name is Crowley," said Aziraphale firmly. "And yes, that was him. It will start up again in about five minutes. He's been doing it a few hours now."

"I have to record that," said Sebastian. "I just never expected a sound like that from a demon."

"Well we do know that music is rather the devil's forte," said Aziraphale.

"Yeah, but... wow."

Aziraphale led his guests into the sitting room. The room was dimly lit, the only illumination being from a few candles and the fire in the hearth. Before the fire was a nest of sorts, made of sticks, and lined with copious amounts of both black and white down. Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"Let me guess, when he ran out of fluff from his own wings, he used some of yours."

"Well I am their father," said Aziraphale.

"Did he ask, or did he just pluck at will?"

"Nobody ever said love does not sometimes sting a little."

"Glad I'm not in love with a demon."

Beatrice smiled. "If ever you mistreat me, you shall be!"

"Noted, my dear."

Sebastian and Beatrice seated themselves quietly, watching Crowley. He was utterly focused on the three eggs in the nest. Indeed he was even a bit scruffy, which was wholly out of character for him. But personal appearance was not on his mind; the eggs were shifting very slightly, and he swayed in time to their movement, rather like a very alert and curious snake. Beatrice gazed at the eggs, eyes shining.

"Will he let me sit beside him to watch?" the celestial being asked.

Aziraphale smiled. "Move slowly and quietly."

He turned to scurry off and answer the door as the bell chimed. Beatrice moved gracefully to sit beside Crowley, gazing at the streaked eggs, then clamped two hands over a smile as one of the eggs made a tiny "Pip!" noise, only to be answered by the mother-to-be. Beatrice had to clamber away so not to disturb Crowley, stifling giggles, as demon and baby pipped at each other. Sebastian gathered his snickering beloved into his arms.

"I thought Aziraphale said we should be quiet," he gently chastised, as Beatrice was reduced to snorts and giggles.

"It's just so cute!"

"Hush, this is very serious demon business."

Crowley and the egg ceased pipping at one another. After a few minutes, he began the hauntingly lovely trilling song again. Sebastian used his phone to record it, staying motionless as a rather large crowd of people entered the room; none other than six nuns and Azalea. It was surprising to no one that they had been granted entry into Heaven after spending their mortal lives in the company of angels. Sister Beatrice and Beatrice the Seraph greeted each other with the sort of hugs that can only come from sharing a name. Following the nuns was the Lady Divina, with Gabriel and Michael in tow. She seated herself beside Crowley on some pillows, watching the eggs. Gabriel and Michael seated themselves on a small gilded couch, saying nothing. Likely their only reason for being there was to attend to Divina.

Half an hour later Beelzebub showed up, more because the Lord of Flies thought the angel-demon ratio was too unbalanced than anything. He sat down between Michael and Gabriel and stared at the eggs sourly, then looked around at all the others gathered in the room, who were also watching the eggs.

"What's the score?" he asked.

"Newcastle United leading, five to three," said Sebastian. 

Beatrice the Seraph fought valiantly to not giggle and snort, but did anyway. Then all three eggs and Crowley pipped at the same time, and the Warrior of Heaven had to flee into the yard to laugh like a drunk hyena. Aziraphale gave Sebastian a sidelong glance.

"Your friend is the very model of self-control."

Sebastian grinned. The doorbell rang, and Aziraphale went to answer it. He was pounced on by a mostly-nude female with leathery wings, who hugged him.

"Azzy!"

"Lilith my dear, so very good to see you, come in, please."

"I've been practicing my gavotte, so after the babies hatch, we can dance!"

"Oh delightful, I can't wait!"

She released him and ran into the sitting room, seating herself near Crowley to watch the eggs. Aziraphale stared at the daunting form of Samael, archangel, intermediary between Heaven and Hell. Samael stared at Aziraphale as if he were some sort of not-terribly-interesting bug.

"Hello," he said, sounding bored. 

"Hello Samael. So good of you to join us. Please come inside."

He did, towering over Aziraphale, as most of the highest-level archangels did. "Have the eggs hatched yet?"

"No not yet."

Crowley began his song again, trilling to his emerging offspring. Beatrice squeezed in past Samael and was about to head to the sitting room when the babies and Crowley began a discordant pipping. Clamping both hands back over their face, Beatrice fled outside once more to howl with laughter in the garden.

"Beatrice is amused by that noise," said Aziraphale.

"It is pretty funny," agreed Samael, sounding almost as if he meant it. 

There came a soft gasp from within the sitting room, and Aziraphale hurried to his husband's side, watching as one of the eggs began to crack. Samael called in Beatrice, and finally all were assembled. An egg cracked, a tiny being within pushing at the shell. Lady Divina reached forward to help it, and paused as Crowley turned into something incredibly threatening-looking, with a great many wings, eyes, talons, and scales, fire dripping from the snake-like muzzle. The atmosphere in the room became incredibly tense as the lowly demon of temptation stared down one of the supreme archangels. 

"Do not fear, little mother. I shall not..."

Crowley made a noise that Aziraphale felt into his bones; low and incredibly sinister. Aziraphale began to feel very worried. Divina was a supreme archangel. She could not back down; her position would not permit it. Crowley would not back down; those were his babies. Divina smiled gently.

"How is it you feel this love so powerfully, yet are a demon?" she asked gently. 

He made some sort of truly hellish rattling noise. Even Samael was wincing in anticipation of the fall out. Fortunately the baby broke the stalemate as a wee head poked out of the egg, and a long flickering tongue touched the lady's hand. She withdrew it with a small surprised noise. The tension was forgotten as all focused on the egg. Slowly, cautiously, a white head streaked with black poked out, and gazed at the crowd. 

"Congratulations," said Beelzebub dryly. "It's a reptile."

The baby emerged, a tiny thing streaked black, white, and silver. It coiled up and craned its neck to look at those gathered around, then pipped, as if asking which being was Mama. Once Crowley made a reply, the baby squiggled over to him and into his lap.

It was a very silly looking baby, and became sillier looking as it dried. It had a tiny crown of fluffy poof on its head, as well as two pairs of the tiniest, fluffiest wings that had ever been. It beat them happily, looking around at the crowd gathered. Crowley slowly reverted to his more usual form, and exchanged a glance with his husband. 

"She's adorable," said Aziraphale.

"She is," agreed Crowley.

Neither said anything about the head-poof. 

"Oh she's so CUUUUUTE!" Lilith squealed. She looked to Samael. "Let's have one of our own."

"Dearest we have...enough children."

"We need another. I was just talking with our other three wives and we agreed."

Samael raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Sebastian looked amazed.

"There are five of you in the relationship? How does that work?"

"Oh it works beautifully when your husband is the best trained sub that was ever created," said Lilith blithely. "Isn't that right, Wubbles?"

"I do what I can to keep up moral," Samael said. 

By this time, even Lady Divina was staring. Sister Beatrice leaned forward to address the archangel.

"But you are one of the most terrifying of all angels," she said.

"Only at work," he replied.

"Nothing wrong with a little healthy BDSM," said Beelzebub. The Lord of Flies turned to address Gabriel. "Is there, Fluffy-Wumpums?"

Gabriel's expression sent Beatrice the Seraph scrambling to the garden to roar with laughter. The archangel was utterly speechless with outrage. Finally he managed to choke out two words.

"I NEVER!"

"It's fine, Sugar-cookie, we're all adults here," said Beelzebub.

Gabriel looked as though he may literally explode from the indignity of it all. Aziraphale rose to his feet. 

"Would anyone care for wine?"

"I would," said Michael, "I was dreading getting through this sober."

"So how long have you and Beelzebub been seeing each other?" Sister Margret asked Gabriel politely, hands folded primly in her lap.

"WE'RE NOT!"

"Centuries," said Beelzebub.

"Oh that's lovely," said Sister Margret. 

Gabriel had some sort of fit as a nun and a prince of Hell teased him. Then the door opened, and two more joined the crowd. 

"Mom? Dad? We finally made it."

Aziraphale came tearing from the kitchen to hug to pair. Crowley did not leave his eggs, but his body language said it all. Warlock and Annabel Lee were tremendously old for mortals, but still carrying on and doing rather well, likely due to the company they had been keeping for the last one hundred and fifty years. The pair greeted Aziraphale, then came into the sitting room to be with Crowley.

"Oh one hatched already!" said Annabel. She peered at the snake. "I vote we name you Puff-Noodle."

"We shall not," said Crowley, but he smiled.

A second egg began to crack, just as Aziraphale returned with the wine. He set down the tray full of bottles and glasses on a small table, then seated himself on the floor with his husband and children. Beatrice returned from the garden to sit beside Sebastian. Something within the egg made a small noise, and Crowley instantly set up a trilling song so lovely that none moved as they listened. The egg slowly broke open, and a very small baby tumbled out, landing on the pile of feathers. Her skin was streaked white and silver, but her tiny baby wings were black. 

"Hey it's a cherub, congratulations!" said a voice from the rafters. All looked up. 

"How long have you been there?" Aziraphale asked Ruh and the roughly 20 cherubs he always seemed to be with.

"About the last one hundred fifty years, I didn't think I needed to announce myself anymore."

Well no arguing with that. They looked to the baby once more. Crowley picked her up and wrapped her in a blanket.

"We can name that one Ramen," said Warlock.

"Why?" asked Annabel.

"To keep with the noodle theme."

"None of the babies will be named after noodles," said Aziraphale, trying to be firm.

His two eldest children just stared at him. "Bet Mom would let us name them after noodles," said Warlock.

"Not even if you bore them yourselves," said Crowley.

The third egg began to crack. Within moments it had smashed, and something was pushing aside the shell fragments. She was sitting up, and looking very puzzled. Her skin was the colour of midnight, streaked with vibrant red. Her hair also was red, but her eyes were the purest blue. One wing was black, one white, and she had a tiny tail. She looked around at the great crowd, and squeaked in fear. Aziraphale scooped her up and held her.

"What will we name that one?" asked Annabel.

"Spaghettini, Destroyer of Worlds," said Warlock.

"Do I have to put you both in time out?" asked Crowley.

"Why?" asked Warlock. "It never worked before."

The first-hatched, the little snake with the fluffy hair-do, crept up Aziraphale's back and onto his shoulder. She craned her neck to look at all gathered. 

"Adorable," said Gabriel with great sarcasm, filling his wine glass. 

"She is!" said Sister Beatrice with heated indignation. "Honestly, Gabriel, for an archangel you are not very loving."

"It's a mutant snake," he said, "What's to love?"

Sister Beatrice gave him the Stern Angry Nun Look of Doom. "Don't make me get my ruler, young man!"

"Oh get the ruler," said Beelzebub, "Gabi loves to be spanked, don't you, Sweetums?"

As Gabriel once more had some sort of catastrophic inner explosion, Lady Divina leaned close to peer at the little snake.

"You're very lovely and very special, aren't you, dear one?"

"She is," said Aziraphale. "I wonder if she will stay a snake?"

"That is up to her," said Lady Divina. "But I do believe that, serpent or not, she shall do great things. Rather like her parents."

"And the other two?" asked Annabel as she picked up the black and red baby from Aziraphale's lap.

The Lady Divina smiled. "They also shall take after their parents."

Crowley held his second-hatched close as he and Aziraphale made eye contact. "Well that's a bit worrying," said Crowley.

Lilith downed her third glass of wine, then flung her arms in the air.

"AND NOW THE CELEBRATORY GAVOTTE! EVERYBODY, OUT ON THE LAWN, WHOOOOOO!"

A rather large number of guests followed the quasi-drunk demon out onto the lawn. Music started up, trappings for a party miraculously appeared, and the dancing began.

"Go join them," said Crowley to Aziraphale. "Have fun."

"You're sure?"

He nodded, then leaned forward to kiss his angel. "Celebrate. I'm going to sit here with our babies. Uh, hand me the little serpent."

Aziraphale did, and went off to dance with his friends, while Crowley sat with his children, both hatched and adopted. Annabel leaned forward to hug him with one arm, a baby in the other.

"I'm happy for you, Mom. I know what they mean to you."

Crowley hugged her in return, as the little snake climbed onto his shoulder to peer at Lady Divina. "You all mean a great deal to me," he said.

"Well that's just precious," grumbled Gabriel.

Beelzebub stood up and motioned to Gabriel. "C'mon, Snuggly-wuggums, let's dance."

"Yes, go have fun for once, get that lead bar out of your ass, for Hell's sake," said Crowley to Gabriel. "I have no idea how you can sit with that thing inside."

"I do not have a lead bar up my ass!"

"Go dance, that's an order," said Lady Divina, gazing fondly at the little white snake and its puffy 'do.

Gabriel rolled his eyes but did as told, Beelzebub following after him.

"Pictures," said Michael, pouring another glass of wine.

"On it," said Beelzebub, smiling.

"Use my camera, it captures motion better," said Divina.

Crowley gave the Supreme Archangel Lady Divina a look of pure astonishment. The angel smiled.

"Fun and humour are gifts from God," she said humbly.

Crowley stared at her for a few moments longer, then said "Would you like to hold my snake-baby?"


End file.
